Marry The Man That Loves You More

April 12, 2011
It’s a gem of advice that is inevitably reiterated every time my married girlfriends and I revisit those hilarious stories of relationships past, which always include a few tales about “That Guy.” Ladies, you know the guy. You met him in your teens or early twenties and there was no mountain high enough to keep you from this raggedy dude. He COMPLETED YOU, remember? You wrote his name in a heart with the infinity sign in class and ya’ll was ‘sposed to be 2gether 4eva.
Yeah…so about that guy. Though sometimes it does work out, in most cases the bad boy you fell for in your tender years isn’t the one waiting for you at the altar on that glorious day you dream about as a little girl. You probably would never have noticed this new guy back in your stilettos and halter top days. Maybe he was too quiet, or a little nerdy. Maybe he was kinda short or too nice *gasp* and sadly relegated to the dreaded friend zone.
Or maybe he was that big Hercules dude at the gym who wouldn’t leave you alone. “I mean seriously,” Toyia would whine to her roommate, “why is he still calling me?” He was a born and bred Brooklynite and she was a southern belle from the Florida panhandle – what could they possibly have in common? Her thick Flawda accent drove him bananas and his ayo-Son-that’s-my-word-Son-word-is-bond-Son cryptic Brooklyn morse code probably proved to be a communication disaster. However, Jay had found his Bey and when a man findeth his wife, it’s not a game, and he’s not leaving you alone. He is a changed man on a mission and his closest friends are often the first to see the transformation.
Kevin’s groomsmen confirmed this at their wedding reception, fondly telling stories about how their friend, who would normally call ranting about some Thin Line Between Love and Hate relationship drama, suddenly stopped calling for advice because there was no more drama to speak of. The guy whose temper would accelerate from “0 to 60” was now cruising down the Westside highway at a steady 30 mph with Bonnie in his passenger seat on the way to the destination of his dreams.
Jay Z Bonnie & Clyde ’03

As Toyia began her walk down the aisle, it became quickly apparent to every guest that she had heeded that timeless advice and was marrying the guy that loved her more than anything else but God. The guy waiting for her under the live oak tree was not the perfect Ken doll that participated in countless rehearsals in her room as a little girl nor was he “the half that made her whole” (barf). This guy was an already complete man who “loved God before he could ever love me” as she wrote in her invitation letters and as she approached him under the tree, his love for the God in her spilled from his eyes and down his face in an undeniable expression of gratitude. As his spirit was overwhelmed with happiness, waves of emotion radiated through the crowd, evoking tears first from the bridal party then causing a chain reaction of teardrops and tissues all the way to the last row of chairs. If the birds and squirrels could cry they would have asked for a Kleenex too at this point because that is just how emotional the energy was in that grassy meadow in Eden Gardens state park.

I watched Kevin count down on Facebook for the past few weeks in anticipation of this day which proved to be an inspiring culmination to a beautiful love story. I’ll let you be the judge but I’m more than convinced that my beautiful friend Latoyia Matheiu has foundeth a great thing and I wish them both a life of passionate happiness.

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  • Reply chauntea April 13, 2011 at 1:07 am

    that was beautiful. I'm misty eyed and feel privileged to have been an eye witness to this story. in a word, it was perfect. both the love and this blog. good job LS.

  • Reply Tracy Malcolm April 13, 2011 at 2:13 am

    This is beautifully written

  • Reply Meagan April 14, 2011 at 1:27 am

    AWE I loved this Tracey. Story well told. Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply Mahogany April 14, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    I love real love… this is beautiful.

  • Reply Tyty April 20, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    wow soo speechless how beautiful

  • Reply Megan Hitz, Designer April 20, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    this is lovely. i love the mathieus! thanks for sharing tracey.

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